A little Light Called Liam
Prologue
The inspiration for my Twitterive is my son, who is also my inspiration for most things in my life. There was a time when life seemed dark, and I couldn’t see the light. I had lost a baby due to a miscarriage, a baby that I tried to have for a long time. I was devastated. I still continued to try though, that is until I got more news that darkened my life – my husband was about to go on the list for a double lung transplant. With the dark clouds lingering I decided to stop trying – at everything. It felt like my world was gone; my hope had diminished. I needed a miracle, would God forsake me? My miracle first appeared in an unusual way. Follow through my journey beginning with sorrow but ending with hope and happiness.
I found my place – it is my connection to my son. The one who made my world bright again.
I found my place – it is my connection to my son. The one who made my world bright again.
Tweets that inspired my Twitterive:
Not so easy playing the game of LIFE with a 6 year old
I take it back he got the hang of it quickly
Listening to the crickets create a soothing sound that is familiar…love being home with my family
Best compliment ever….I wish you weren’t my mom….that way I could marry you – my heart melted
Favorite quote of the day from my 6 year old – maybe it was just my mind trickin on me
Trying to hw but all I hear from the other room is HEEYA someone is being karate chopped
Awake a half hour early because that damn tickling hand got him again in his sleep
Pumpkin pie and ice cold milk
Love listening to my six year old sing when he thinks I am not listening
Watching Kick Buttowski
To see the world through a child’s eyes for one day would be awesome
Story balloon what a great activity to get little ones talking
He is so happy that his kitty sleeps with him
Woody’s surf and skate shop signing the boys up for surfing
Memories won’t fade if they are kept in your special place, your heart
Finally stopped raining – Halloween camping weekend here we come
My little guy just said lightening is God’s fireworks
Remembering the day when you held my hand
My dear sweet baby,
I tried for a really long time to have you in my life. Four years. I cried when I found out you were growing inside of me. I cired even more when I lost you. I never got the chance to know you. I never got the chance to hold your hand in mine. I never felt your soft breath as you laid on my chest I think about who you would have been, and I cry. I could handle the empty space you left behind, but the emptiness is devoured by sadness. A sadness that calls my heart home. It must be comfortable there because it never leaves. My dear sweet baby are you at home in heaven?
I tried for a really long time to have you in my life. Four years. I cried when I found out you were growing inside of me. I cired even more when I lost you. I never got the chance to know you. I never got the chance to hold your hand in mine. I never felt your soft breath as you laid on my chest I think about who you would have been, and I cry. I could handle the empty space you left behind, but the emptiness is devoured by sadness. A sadness that calls my heart home. It must be comfortable there because it never leaves. My dear sweet baby are you at home in heaven?
My dear sweet baby,
It has been two years since God took you away from me. I still cry. Sadness still calls my heart home. I pray that Babci is holding your hand. Does she get the chance to feel your soft breath? I still wonder who you would have been.
It has been two years since God took you away from me. I still cry. Sadness still calls my heart home. I pray that Babci is holding your hand. Does she get the chance to feel your soft breath? I still wonder who you would have been.
In the name of:
The Father
Holy Spirit Amen
Son
Dear God,
We decided a year ago that we should not have another baby. We stopped trying. Kevin’s illness made the decision for us. I don’t want to bring another child into this world if there is a chance he won’t know his dad. Everything happens for a reason. You brought my sweet baby into heaven, was it because Kevin is sick? I don’t understand your plan. I don’t know if I have enough faith to believe. Please help me find my way.
We decided a year ago that we should not have another baby. We stopped trying. Kevin’s illness made the decision for us. I don’t want to bring another child into this world if there is a chance he won’t know his dad. Everything happens for a reason. You brought my sweet baby into heaven, was it because Kevin is sick? I don’t understand your plan. I don’t know if I have enough faith to believe. Please help me find my way.
Survival rates for double-lung transplants are slightly better than single. Recent data show that the median survival for single-lung recipients is 4.6 years. The median survival for double-lung recipients is 6.6 years.
Dear God,
So, I’ll have almost seven years with my husband if all goes well with his surgery. THANKS! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW! Where's the light?
So, I’ll have almost seven years with my husband if all goes well with his surgery. THANKS! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW! Where's the light?
A sadness takes over
It becomes a part of your soul
I don’t recognize who I am
I look into the mirror and see blackness
There is no light
No sunshine on my face
I don’t feel warmth
Only the cold depths
Devouring my heart
It becomes a part of your soul
I don’t recognize who I am
I look into the mirror and see blackness
There is no light
No sunshine on my face
I don’t feel warmth
Only the cold depths
Devouring my heart
The Phone Call From Beyond
It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving 2004. I am decorating for Christmas, trying to get in the spirit. The phone rings. I almost don’t answer it. The caller Id shows that it is my sister whom I do not talk to very much.
Andrea: Hello
Debbie: Andrea, is that you?
Andrea: yeah it’s me, what’s up?
Debbie: I was just wondering, are you pregnant?
Andrea: WHAT? No, I’m not pregnant. Why would you ask that? You know we decided a long time ago that it would be best not to have another baby.
Debbie: Well, I had a dream last night, and in my dream Babci came to me. She told me that someone I’m close to (but not close to) is pregnant, and that she is gonna give birth to a healthy baby boy. You are the first person I thought of.
Andrea: Well, it’s not me. Keep checking.
CLICK - I hang up the phone.
The One Who Called From Beyound....
BUT……
I begin to wonder
Could I be I mean, what are the chance?s NO stop thinking crazy this isn’t happening. it would be too crazy to bring a baby into this world at this time it can’t be it’s impossible crazy to think that someone else would know before the mother her and her stupid dreams
I begin to wonder
Could I be I mean, what are the chance?s NO stop thinking crazy this isn’t happening. it would be too crazy to bring a baby into this world at this time it can’t be it’s impossible crazy to think that someone else would know before the mother her and her stupid dreams
A racing heart and sweaty palms
Hotness takes over
My body is on fire
My thoughts play tug of war
It’s hard to breath
Everything is tight
I can’t breath.
BREATH, just breath
Hotness takes over
My body is on fire
My thoughts play tug of war
It’s hard to breath
Everything is tight
I can’t breath.
BREATH, just breath
A Turn Of Events
God gave me a gift. A gift I had no idea I wanted. That’s the thing about a surprise, you don’t know how much you want it until it’s handed to you. I was filled with so much sadness that there wasn’t any sunlight. I couldn’t feel warmth; that is until I heard your heart beating.
I left the hospital with a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time – I felt hope.
The clouds began to disperse
Through the dark gray skies
Light appeared
Beautiful rays of sun
Shining on my face
Warmth wrapped tightly
Around my heart
I began to cry
Soft, subtle tears of happiness
The clouds began to disperse
Through the dark gray skies
Light appeared
Beautiful rays of sun
Shining on my face
Warmth wrapped tightly
Around my heart
I began to cry
Soft, subtle tears of happiness
Arriving at the hospital....
....I didn't know what to expect
....Nothing could prepare me
It's A Boy
Dear Liam,
I am so grateful for the surprise that entered my life and gave me hope.
My world changed because of you. You make each day that I’m living full of sunshine. The sun not only warms my heart, but it shines on your face making my world brighter than it's ever been.
I am so grateful for the surprise that entered my life and gave me hope.
My world changed because of you. You make each day that I’m living full of sunshine. The sun not only warms my heart, but it shines on your face making my world brighter than it's ever been.
Each day is an adventure....
....no matter what we do....
....we smile and laugh....
....we conquer the world....
....and have fun doing it
Looking at the world through a child's eyes can create hope. There is beauty in what he sees. There is a veil that covers sorrow, only sun can filter through.
He paints a picture of how the world should be seen – simple and pure.
Dear Liam,
You are growing up so fast and before I can blink you will be grown. I cherish every minute we spend together because before long you will venture on to new things. Our time together will soon be replaced, your friends will become important and so will your independence. You will want to explore the world and I will worry every step of the way. I love that you see beauty in everything and everyone, please don’t lose that. Never lose your sense of innocence, be a child as long as you can, and never stop having adventures. I love you and you will always be my baby.
Love,
Mom
You are growing up so fast and before I can blink you will be grown. I cherish every minute we spend together because before long you will venture on to new things. Our time together will soon be replaced, your friends will become important and so will your independence. You will want to explore the world and I will worry every step of the way. I love that you see beauty in everything and everyone, please don’t lose that. Never lose your sense of innocence, be a child as long as you can, and never stop having adventures. I love you and you will always be my baby.
Love,
Mom
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For my Mom
When i first came into this world I know that you were scared, you didn’t know if you would succeed at everything you needed to show me.
When I was a baby you held me tight so that Icould feel safe.
You fed me so that I wouldn’t feel hunger.
You sang to me so that I could feel your love
As i grew a little older you took my hand in yours and held on tight. You began the process of showing me the world I had to explore.
At times I would pull my hand away from yours, it wasn’t because I didn’t need you, it was because you gave me confidence and made me feel safe.
I knew all along that you would be there to catch me if I should fall.
As I became older I know you worried that I would not make the right choices in life.
I just wanted to let you know even though you weren’t with me physically ,you were still there with me.
You taught me right from wrong and you instilled values in me that I too shall pass on to my children one day.
I may have made some mistakes, but I learned from them.
I also learned that I could come to you for anything and you would not judge me.
You made me what I am today, you gave me the essential tools and qualities it takes to be a good person
My life was in your hands and I will always be thankful that you succeeded in being the best mom there was.